1 Straight to Hell Read online

  The doors began to close.

  Then a pair of hands wrenched them open again. My attacker was hauled outside by the back of his collar, spun around, and thrown up against a wall. I came out into the lobby to see William land one blow in the other man’s gut and another across his chin.

  My attacker was larger, but William was stronger. And angrier. The cords on his neck stood out as he once more slammed the man into the wall, this time hard enough to crack the paneling. I had a brief vision of what I must have looked like when I went crazy on Jasmine that day. No wonder Tommy was worried that I might hurt my family.

  William hit my attacker again, this time in the nose. Blood sprayed across the framed artwork on the walls.

  “Stop,” I begged. I pulled on William’s sleeve. “That’s enough.”

  William shrugged me off, then threw the man to the floor where he fell in a heap. When William raised his foot to stomp on his face, I grabbed his arm once more. “Stop! You’ll kill him.”

  “He deserves it.”

  I tried to wedge my way between them. “I’m fine. It’s over. Please, let’s go.”

  With great effort, William lowered his foot. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath then, slowly, relaxed his fists. In a few minutes, he was calm enough to straighten his jacket. I, however, was trembling so hard I could barely stand. William took my elbow and guided me into a doorway that I still couldn’t see. A minute later, we stood on a moonlit beach.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Yes.” I sank down onto the sand, and William sat next to me. “I think so.”

  He returned the sweater that he had taken earlier, draping it across my shoulders. “It’s a good thing I stuck around.”

  I should have been happy about this as well, but I wasn’t. I was absurdly angry. “And tell me, why did you stick around? What, are we friends now? Or don’t you want anyone else touching your toys?”

  I was glad to see him flinch. “I only stayed to make sure you didn’t fail your assignment, of course. Which you did.”

  He was right. I had failed. I tried to piece together the fragments of the evening. “It started out okay. But then it all fell apart.”

  “It didn’t fall apart. You purposely ruined it. That’s why your succubus wouldn’t come when you needed her. She’s furious with you.”

  “I guess I did sabotage things,” I admitted. I picked up a handful of cool sand and let it slide through my fingers. “I couldn’t bear the way my target looked after I’d thrown the drink at him.”

  “Let me give you some advice,” William said. “Get in, do the job, and get out as quickly as you can. Don’t stop to see the damage.”

  A full moon hung low on the horizon, and the water reflected it back in a long, rippling pattern. The beach was postcard perfect, but I was too miserable to enjoy it. “I know that I have to do this job,” I said, “but I can’t. I just can’t.”

  “As I said before, the more you resist your conscience, the easier it will become. Pretty soon, it will be second nature.” But he sounded less than confident.

  I could tell without looking at him that his demon was ebbing. And when he put his arm around me, it wasn’t the demon’s allure I felt, but the companionship of the man who had brought me the box of my mother’s possessions.

  “Don’t do that,” I told him and moved away.

  “Do what?”

  “Be cruel to me, and then turn around and be nice. I can’t stand it.”

  “I’m sorry, Lilith.” He sighed. “But I only said those things for Miss Spry’s benefit.”

  “Really? You certainly acted the part well enough.”

  He moved a lock of hair away from my cheek. “You don’t understand. If Helen ever suspected how strongly I’m attracted to you, she’d imprison me on the other side of the world to keep me away.” His lips brushed my ear. “Not that it would do any good.”

  It was tempting to let his caresses melt me, but I remained in control. “Well, I won’t play those games. Besides, Miss Spry should mind her own, damn business.”

  “We are her business, and her job is to make sure that we do ours. She needs for us keep our human and demon natures in balance. If we let the demons get the better of us, we become monsters, and we’ll terrify off our victims, not tempt them. But if we become too human, we’ll feel compassion for our victims and try to keep them from falling into temptation.”

  It seems that I’d been making both of those errors lately.

  “Also, we risk falling in love.” My hair, which had been swept into a neat twist, was coming undone. With one, deft move, William unfastened the clip holding it in place, letting it spill over my shoulders.

  “You’ve done that before,” I said.

  “Many, many times. But never with anyone as beautiful as you.”

  I remembered Mr. Clerk’s warning about how William would say anything to get what he wanted. “I’m sure you say that to all the women.”

  “You’re right; I say those things because it’s my job to seduce them. But this is real.”

  I’d had enough of his sweet talk. Okay, I really hadn’t, but I knew that if I listened to it much longer, I’d risk giving in to him, and then he’d really have something to mock me with the next time we faced Miss Spry together. So I resisted his advance, standing up and brushing the sand from my butt. “I need to get home.”

  He got to his feet as well. “Lilith, please, I’m serious. The other women really were only playthings to me. But you’re not. I swear it.”

  It was so close to the excuse Ted had used when I’d discovered Andrea the model shaving her legs in my bathtub that I was able to resist him. “Take me home,” I insisted.

  For a moment, I worried that he’d refuse. My succubus was apparently still too pissed off with me to reveal where the otherworld door lay, and I was helpless if William decided to leave me stranded on the beach. But, finally, he relented and guided me back to my bedroom.

  “I was wrong about you,” he said before he left. “You act like a compassionate human, but really you’re a cold-hearted she-demon.” He reached out to touch my face, but thought better of it and withdrew his hand. “In some ways, you’re more lethal than I am.”

  After he left, I glanced at myself in the full-length mirror that hung on the back of my door. My hair was tousled, sand clung to my rumpled dress, mascara clumped my lashes together in unflattering spikes. Lethal? No. Pitiful was the word I would have used.

  Chapter Ten

  When the alarm went off the next morning, I dragged myself down to the kitchen where Grace, Ariel and, surprisingly, Jasmine sat immobile in front of their bowls of cold cereal. No one said a word, but all of them, even Grace, looked angry enough to eat me alive.

  Jasmine started in first. “Where the hell were you last night?”

  I would have answered that, but I was too focused on Ariel’s nose. It had been bandaged with a strip of gauze secured with white tape. The skin under her eyes was bruised. Her accusing stare made my insides shrivel. “What happened?”

  My father came into the kitchen. His hair and clothing were both rumpled. I must have been too bleary-eyed to realize that he had been the one sleeping on the living room couch and not Tommy. Although Simon, too, gave me a reproachful look, he only said, “I’m glad to see you made it safely home.”

  Now, I’m used to the girls being disgusted with me. Even Grace, angel though she is, had her share of Mommy-I-hate-you tantrums, most recently, over that damned French horn. But seeing that look in my father’s eyes was too much to bear. Tears threatened, then spilled over.

  “Settle down, Auntie Lil, I’ll live,” Ariel said, her voice nasal.

  Grace glanced from Jasmine to me and back again then said, “Ariel tried to pierce her own nose last night.”

  “But when she started to bleed, she freaked and passed out,” Jasmine said. “She ended up hitting her nose on the sink and breaking it.”

  “Where were you!” Grace was crying
now, too, her pale eyes already a rabbity pink. “I kept calling you because Ariel said you’d gone out, but you’d left your cell phone in your bedroom. I didn’t know where you were, and I was so scared.” She fled the table and came to me, wrapping her arms around my waist so tightly my spine cracked.

  I ran my fingers through her tangled hair. If I spoke above a whisper, I knew I’d end up crying in earnest, so I murmured, “I’m sorry. Baby, I am so, so, sorry.”

  My father, his face still tense, finished the story. “Ariel demanded that Tommy take her to the hospital, so Jas called me to stay with Grace and then went to join them in the ER.”

  “I told Jas that I was leaving. She probably forgot.” I glared at my stepsister who glowered back.

  “I didn’t’ forget,” Jasmine shot back. “You said, ‘I’ll be gone for a few minutes.’ But we got back from the hospital about one o’clock, and you still weren’t home.”

  I took a tissue from the pocket of my robe and blew my nose. “And how are you doing right now, Honey,” I asked Ariel. “Does it hurt too much? Do you want to stay home from school?”

  Ariel dumped her bowl and spoon in the sink. “You’re too late, Auntie Lil. The drama was last night, remember? That’s when I needed you.” Then she grabbed her backpack and stormed out of the kitchen.

  Even Grace’s assurances that she loved me didn’t stop my inner bleeding. Somehow, I got the girls off to school, then sat down with my own cup of coffee. Jasmine staggered off to bed, leaving me alone with my father.

  Simon still wouldn’t look at me. I felt like I had when I was a teenager and had snuck out after midnight to hook up with my friends. When I returned home in the wee hours of the morning, my dad had been sitting on the couch, waiting. He hadn’t yelled or cursed or threatened, but he’d still managed to make me feel like a nasty piece of trash that had been stuck to the bottom of the garbage can.

  I decided to be an adult and confront the situation head-on. “Dad…”

  Immediately, he cut me off, throwing down the morning paper he’d been pretending to read. “I don’t know what you were doing last night, and quite frankly, I don’t care. You’re a grown woman, Lilith, and can make your own decisions. But I want you to know that what you did – disappearing like that without a word to anyone, not bothering to answer your phone – was very much like your mother. And the way you made Grace feel. Well, that was one-hundred percent Carrie, too.”

  Nothing, and I mean nothing, could have hurt me more than that. Words bubbled up inside, but I couldn’t speak a single one. Instead, I stared miserably at my coffee, shaking my head.

  “Well, what’s done is done,” my father said. “I have to leave if I’m going to get to work on time.” He folded the paper and put it under his arm. And there, on the front page, was the froggy-faced old man from the bar. The one at whom I’d thrown my drink.

  He was dead.

  “Billionaire Harper Jumps to His Death” declared the headline. Numbly, I picked up the paper and scanned the story. Only a few minutes after I’d left him, the old man had thrown himself from the twenty-seventh floor of the very same hotel we’d had drinks in.

  “Walter Harper,” my father said, reading over my shoulder. “He was the king of the Ponzi schemers. The man bilked a lot of people out of their life savings. He’d been indicted by a grand jury last week, and probably couldn’t handle what he knew was going to happen.”

  Or the fact that a pretty woman who reminded him of a long-ago crush told him he was pathetic, I added mentally. Even the fact that I’d worked hard to reverse the damage my demon had done didn’t erase the guilt. All at once, my gorge rose, the coffee acidic in my stomach. I bolted to the bathroom, arriving just in time to heave up what I’d last eaten.

  “Lil, you okay?” My dad sounded concerned, but he lingered at the bottom of the steps. He’d never been a go-to guy for vomiting.

  I heaved again, then sank back on the tiled floor. “Go ahead. I’ll be fine.”

  But I sincerely doubted that.

  When I was feeling steadier, I went to the fridge to get some ginger ale and saw the calendar that the funeral home had given me hanging there. It was February now, and the picture was of sunrays breaking through an ominous thundercloud. Written in fancy script beneath it was: Even on the darkest days, God’s love shines through.

  I scowled at it. “Oh, really,” I said. “So where the hell were you last night?”

  “Sleeping on the floor in Jasmine’s room.” Tommy came into the kitchen, looking troubled. “Was that okay?”

  “Yes! Of course. And I didn’t mean you. I meant Him. God.” I pointed at the calendar. “I was telling Him that if He was so eager to help me, He should have been here yesterday.”

  Tommy scratched at the studs in his forehead. “Well, we were all here yesterday, so I guess we were acting in His place.”

  I suppose that made sense, but it didn’t make me less angry.

  Tommy poured himself some coffee. “You look terrible, Lil. Are you okay?”

  I shook my head and sat at the table. “Not really.”

  “I heard what your dad said to you.” He spooned sugar into his mug. “That was harsh.”

  “I deserved it.”

  “No, you didn’t. After all, you told Jas that you’d be gone. Everyone was scared, that’s all.” He sat next to me. “You’re always so hard on yourself. It’s like you think you’re so terrible when you’re actually one of the best people I know.”

  If I was the best person Tommy knew, then he needed to hang with a different crowd. But it was good to hear it. Especially from him.

  “Besides,” he continued, “I’m the one who should apologize.”

  I was shocked. “For what?”

  He set his coffee down. “I think I may have said something to make Ari want to pierce her nose.” He hung his head as if this burden had been dragging him down all night. “See, yesterday she asked me why I had so many piercings and tattoos. And I told her it was because I wanted to scare people. Which was a joke, of course.”

  Of course. Even with all the facial hardware, Tommy wouldn’t scare a baby.

  “But it was a stupid joke.” He slammed the heels of his hands against his forehead in frustration. “What was I thinking? I should have known that Ari of all people would take me seriously.”

  “Tommy, it’s okay. Really.” I squeezed his hand. I’d never met anyone with a bigger heart. No wonder my step-sister was head-over-heels for this guy. Despite the piercings and the fact that he was too young for my taste, I was half in love with him myself. “Ari does what Ari wants to do.”

  “My parents used to say the same thing about my sister,” he said.

  “And they were right. We can’t control another person’s behavior. At least not forever.” Not even if we’re a succubus, I thought grimly.

  He shook his head sadly. “You’re probably right, but I’m worried about Ari. There’s something going on, but she won’t tell me.”

  “Me neither,” I admitted. “She’s very good at keeping secrets. We’ll have to keep an eye on her.” And I was so glad that I had someone else to help me keep watch.

  He smiled. “Can do.” He glanced at his watch. “Okay, time for work. But before I go.” He dug in his pocket for his wallet and took out some bills which he placed on the table. “This is for food and rent and stuff. I hope it’s enough. I know I eat like a horse.”

  “I can’t accept that!” And just when I thought he couldn’t become any more wonderful. “Seriously, Tommy. I’m fine.”

  He refused to take the money back. “You’re not fine. You haven’t worked since Christmas, am I right? And Jas told me all about the fire, and the insurance company, and your ex-husband. Then there was the washing machine, and I know that last week you needed to buy Grace a new winter coat. Seriously, Lil, I don’t know how you do it.”

  I used my demon, of course. I’d sweet talked the clerk out of Grace’s coat, and I’d been ripping off the grocery st
ore every week. And, after I’d made a trip downtown to see a customer service representative, my electric and gas bills disappeared as well. In fact, all of my bills were now covered thanks to my succubus. The more I used my demon, the easier it was to depend on her.

  But now, looking at Tommy’s earnest face, I was deeply ashamed of myself. While I’d been stealing everything my succubus could lay her hands on, he’d been working hard to earn the money to pay for his room and board. It actually caused me physical pain to think that he admired me even a little bit.

  “I’m not taking that money back,” he said. Then he winked at me and left me alone with my guilty conscience.

  I decided the best way to deal with the previous night’s debacle was to meet with Miss Spry and admit my failure. There was no use hiding since she’d learn about it soon enough. If she didn’t know already.

  I showered and dressed, did my hair, and even put on makeup. Not because I wanted to impress Miss Spry, but because it allowed me to postpone the meeting that I dreaded so much.

  I was slipping on my shoes when I felt a delicate tremor in the air. Not a breeze, exactly, but a shifting of some kind. This had to be an otherworldly visitor. “Come on out,” I said. “I know you’re here.”

  I’d expected William, but instead, it was Mr. Clerk who materialized from next to the dresser.

  “Are you spying on me?”

  He straightened the knot in his paisley tie and refused to meet my eyes. “Only because Miss Spry asked me to. She wants to know what you’re up to.” He frowned. “And it’s a good thing I did because I saw you and William on the beach last night.”

  I glared at him, embarrassed and angry. “Well, if you were watching us that closely, then you’ll know that nothing happened.” I grabbed my bag from the bed, ready to storm out of the room. “Besides, I thought you were over him.”

  “So did I,” Mr. Clerk admitted. He sat on the edge of my bed.

  “He’s a hard man to get over.” I sat next to him.

  “Impossible,” Mr. Clerk agreed.