3 Straight by the Rules Page 18

  I handed her the grail. “Here, you can have it back. I even polished it up for you.”

  She continued to glare.

  “I’m sorry, Harmony. I really am. But I was desperate!”

  Annoyed, she tapped the icon against her leg. “You were impatient! Didn’t I say I’d help process your prayer?”

  “I don’t have that kind of time,” I argued. “I need to get out of my contract now!”

  She put her fingertips to her forehead. “And how many opportunities has Heaven given you to make that happen? Yet every time we offer you something, it’s not good enough. You want things your way and only your way!”

  I sat on the couch and put my head in my hands. “If it’s any consolation, my plan failed. Helen didn’t want the grail.”

  Harmony wrinkled her pert nose. “Who would? It was more useful as a lamp.”

  “When I saw how much Helen loved the piece of the cross, I thought she’d sell her soul to get the holy grail!”

  Harmony shook her head. “She loves that cross because she thinks it means she got one over on God. Although, she didn’t of course.” Finally, the angel smiled. “Every once in a while, God likes to let Helen think she’s won. It takes the tension off of their relationship, you know? But in reality, He always has the upper hand.”

  It was comforting to know Ariel had been right. Still, the sight of the grail filled me with shame. “I’m really sorry about stealing. I never should have done it.”

  Her glare returned. “No, you shouldn’t have.” Then she sighed, and her face relaxed. “But you’re forgiven. Just don’t do it again.”

  “I won’t,” I said.

  “And you owe us a new ping pong ball.”

  I knelt on the floor. Reaching under the couch, I withdrew an orange ping pong ball. Drinking Tea had dozens of them stashed around the apartment. “Here. It’s slightly used, but still good. I don’t think Tea will miss it.”

  She accepted it with a smile. “Have faith, Lilith.”

  That reminded me. “I found Patrick! He was in Purgatory.”

  Her smile changed to a grin. “I know. He stopped by this morning.”

  So Patrick had visited her first. I felt a twinge of jealousy.

  Harmony’s forehead furrowed. “He told me the oddest thing. He said my father is a saint.”

  For an angel, Harmony was quite a show off. Sick of her bragging, I said, “My father’s a saint, too.”

  Her eyes widened. “How did you know?” Then understanding lit her eyes. “Oh, wait. You’re talking about Simon Yoshida, right? He is a good man, but he’s not a saint. Now my father, on the other hand, was a saint. A real saint.”

  I remembered reading about such people in Catholic school. Their pious, suffering faces had haunted me from the pages of my Bible. “Those people still exist?”

  “Yup. They’re not quite human, but they’re not quite angels, either. My dad was one of those.”

  “Okay, so your dad was perfect. Big deal.”

  “No, he wasn’t perfect,” she corrected. “He still did plenty of bad things. He is human after all.” She ran her hands over the grail. “Good and bad get mixed up a lot. Someone may think he’s doing good when he’s really up to the Devil’s work.” She raised a knowing eyebrow. “But even demons can work on Heaven’s behalf.”

  Yeah, right I thought. Tell that to Helen.

  Harmony walked to the door. “Anyway, I’ve got to scoot. There’s a little kid on my list who’s learned how to climb out of his crib, and I don’t want him getting a concussion.”

  I said a silent farewell to the grail. “So if half-human/half-angels are called saints, what are half-humans/half-demons called?”

  Harmony’s laugh rang like little, silver bells. “You’re hysterical! You should know the answer to that.”

  I grumbled, thinking she was making fun of me. Then I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror on the fireplace mantel. What were half-human/half-demons called? She’s right, I should have known all along.

  Succubi.

  I needed a break before I continued working on my list, so I checked my e-mail, hoping to find a message from Grace. Sure enough, Ted had sent several pictures of our daughter posing in front of various Rodin statues. He also reminded me when he’d be dropping Grace off. As if I hadn’t been counting the days! I couldn’t wait to have my baby back under my roof.

  The doorway by my bed shivered, and Delilah came through. Her lips were pressed tightly together. “I have some bad news.”

  I tensed. “What is it?”

  “William Darcy just failed an assignment.”

  William failed an assignment? As far as I knew, that had only happened twice, and both times it had occurred when he’d tried to steal my client from me. Still, I’d botched plenty of assignments myself and couldn’t figure out why William’s single failure would be so terrible. “What happened?”

  “This time it wasn’t my fault, believe it or not,” Delilah said. “He walked out on his client.” She snapped her fingers. “Just like that!” She lowered her voice and glanced at the doorway. “I heard him and the old lady arguing about it in her office. According to Miss Spry, it was a standard seduction. An ‘in and out of bed’ kind of thing.”

  My breath caught. Awe, happiness, and fear followed in rapid succession and then circled around for another go. It was like picking petals off a daisy: William loves me, but he’s upset Helen. William loves me! But he’s in trouble.

  Delilah watched me closely. “You know, you two never fooled me with the ‘we hate each other’ act. You like him, don’t you?”

  I nodded.

  She jingled the bangles on her wrist. “That’s not good. Miss Spry will not be happy to hear it.”

  “You won’t tell her, will you?”

  “No, but I’m pretty sure she already suspects. If that man thinks he was busy before, he’s in for a terrible shock.”

  Being loaded with assignments to keep us apart wasn’t the worst punishment Hell had to offer, but it still wasn’t good. “How many assignments?” I asked.

  Delilah looked away. “I just gave him thirty-five. Miss Spry wants them all finished by tomorrow.”

  My jaw dropped. “Thirty-five? By tomorrow?” Even my succubus cringed.

  “And another sixty the next day,” Delilah added.

  Poor William!

  Delilah rubbed her eyes. “All this work is killing me, too. You should see my desk. I haven’t had time to process any of your assignments, and Miss Spry is furious because I’m not turning my reports in fast enough.” She glared at the otherworld doorway. “The old bat keeps increasing the workload, but she still expects everything to be done yesterday.”

  “Well, brace yourself for the next wave,” I said. “I’ve got another full night ahead.”

  Delilah groaned. “How many names are left on your list?”

  “Too many,” I said grimly.

  She gave me a commiserating nod and disappeared.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Helen’s open-ended instructions were like a gift card with an unlimited balance, and I took full advantage of it. I encouraged a pair of men to help an elderly woman fix her flat tire. After that, I talked a trio of women into donating blood. I dissuaded a man from buying a fifth of vodka and instead got him to call his sponsor. None of these people wanted to do the things I persuaded them to do, yet when they’d followed through with my suggestions, all of them were happy. I, too, was happy.

  My succubus, however, was less than thrilled.

  As I sat on my bed studying Delilah’s list, my inner demon restlessly paced in my mind. She reminded me over and over again that we were not doing our job. “We are doing our job,” I told her. “Helen said to make people do what they don’t want to, and that’s exactly what we’ve done.” I totaled up my temptations: fifteen names down and forty-six to go.

  My inner demon snarled at me and bared her teeth. I ignored her. She was so enraged that even though we wer
e on Earth, she mustered enough strength to control my hand, making me slap my own face. When I fought back, she pinned both of my arms to my sides and jerked me off the bed.

  Peals of laughter rang from the otherworld. A moment later, William appeared. He tried to say something, but he was laughing too hard. He collapsed onto my bed, holding his sides. “What the hell…?” Before he could finish his question, another wave of mirth left him speechless.

  I picked myself up off the floor. “I’m so glad you find that funny.”

  He finally caught his breath. “What the hell were you doing?”

  “I pissed off my succubus, and she’s getting me back.” Although, now that William was in the room, my demon bitch was too distracted by his alluring incubus to misbehave.

  He sat up and wiped his eyes. “I’m sorry, but honestly, I needed that. I’ve been having a very trying evening.” Now that he’d stopped laughing, his shoulders sagged, and his smile didn’t quite touch his eyes.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Exhausted.”

  I sat next to him on the bed. “Delilah told me what happened.”

  “I had a perfect record of seduction for a hundred years, and it was all blown to Hell in five minutes.”

  “It’s because of me, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.” He touched my hair. “You got into my head the moment I met you, but now that you’re in my heart as well, I couldn’t go through with it.”

  That warmed me all over.

  He dropped his hand. “But I can’t fail again, or Helen will have my head. She’s already set me up with a year’s worth of temptations to be completed in less than two days.” He yawned and rubbed his eyes. “I’m exhausted.”

  “You can nap here if you want to.”

  He shook his head. “I only stopped by to look for my naughty girl. My other naughty girl,” he said when I rolled my eyes. “Calamity. Have you seen her? She’s not in my house, and I thought maybe she’d come back here.”

  “You think she’s here?” If Calamity had slipped into my apartment, she could cause all kinds of havoc. Burning down the house was only part of my worry. What if she terrified Ariel? Or hurt Tea?

  Thinking of my cat, I leapt from the bed and searched the apartment. Calamity might be William’s pet, but if she hurt Drinking Tea, so help me…

  “Lilith!” William called from Jasmine’s room. “You have to see this!” I hurried to join him. “Look,” he said, smiling.

  Calamity and Tea curled together on Jas’s bed. Tea efficiently licked Calamity’s head while the little demon slitted her bulbous eyes in pleasure.

  My heart melted. “Oh, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!”

  William scooped up his pet. “You were a bad girl to run away and worry me,” he scolded affectionately.

  “She probably misses you,” I said.

  “No doubt.” He rubbed her head and carried her into my bedroom where he gently set her down next to the otherworld doorway. He put his arms around me. “I wish I didn’t have to go back to work.”

  I laid my head on his chest. “That makes two of us.”

  I was about to try for a kiss when smoke began to trickle in from the otherworld. William’s eyebrows shot up, and he let go of me. “Calamity!” He frantically glanced around my room. “Where did you go?” He dropped to his knees and searched under the bed. “Calamity?!”

  I stuck my head into Hell’s hallway. Seeing dark clouds billowing from behind one of the doors, I sprinted to the kitchen, grabbed the fire extinguisher, then ran back to the bedroom. I thrust the extinguisher at William. “Hurry before she sets fire inside every doorway in Hell!”

  Grabbing the extinguisher, he charged into the otherworld. “Calamity, you bad girl! You are in so much trouble!”

  Although he was panicked, I smiled. I could only hope William’s little demon had chosen to burn Helen’s office to the ground.

  Ten temptations later, I stumbled into my bedroom and flopped across my bed.

  “Lil?” Tommy stood uncertainly in the doorway. “You okay?”

  I groaned and rolled onto my stomach. “Peachy. As you know, I live to do the Devil’s bidding.”

  He didn’t smile.

  “That was a joke,” I told him.

  He still didn’t smile. “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Anything.”

  “Those men you tempt…do they stay as obsessed with you as I am?”

  I sighed. “No.”

  He stuck his hands into his pockets. “So what’s wrong with me?”

  “I wish I knew.”

  He sat on the end of the bed. “Sometimes, I get the feeling you don’t want to set me free.”

  I started to argue that there was nothing I wanted more, but then I stopped. That wasn’t the truth. I didn’t want to release him. More importantly, neither did my succubus. My breath caught as I suddenly realized why.

  My succubus wanted Tommy to father my child.

  She nodded in full agreement. She’d been planning it all along.

  When Helen ordered my mother to get pregnant, Carrie had picked out two men for the job. One to create me, and the other to care for me. But in Tommy, I’d have both a sperm donor and caregiver in one man. His spiritual sensitivity would make him a terrific biological father, and his sweet-tempered nature would ensure that he’d be an amazing dad as well.

  No wonder I couldn’t make myself release him.

  He toyed with the band of his wristwatch. “Do you think you could try to let me go? One last time. For my sake.”

  Our bond held a special place in my heart, and I sensed how empty I’d feel once I gave him up. Then again, I had to do it. Not only for Tommy and Jasmine’s sakes, but for William’s as well. By giving up Tommy completely, I could make more room in my heart for the man I really loved.

  “Come here.” I patted the bed next to me, and Tommy slid closer. I put my arms around him. Immediately, he lost control and tried to nuzzle my neck. I tweaked his ear to make him back off. “Stop that! Now, close your eyes.” When he did, I closed mine as well and touched my head to his, the studs in his forehead dimpling my skin.

  I breathed slowly, feeling the heft of my succubus in my mind. For the first time, I understood her ruthlessness. She had her claws in Tommy, and she had them in deep. No wonder he’d been suffering.

  Let him go, I told my succubus.

  Instead of listening to me, she dug in harder. He gasped and tried to pull away. I cinched my arms more tightly around him, preventing his escape.

  Let go, I demanded. My succubus spit at me. I said, LET GO!!

  We wrestled silently. I clenched my jaws and ground my teeth. It was like pulling a stubborn weed out of the ground, and my demon’s root went deep. As I fought to yank her out, Tommy groaned and wrestled against me. “Relax,” I told him. “Please!”

  C’mon, you little bitch. Let go!! The more we struggled, the more clearly I saw her. Long, black hair grew from her reptilian head, and her curvaceous woman’s body was clad in gray, leathery skin. She looked at me with cruel, yellow eyes. So this was the monster that had been residing in my brain for the past seven months. I shuddered in revulsion.

  Our struggle was also becoming very real, and I had the dizzying sensation of being in two places at once. Although I was still sitting on my bed, I was also standing in an arena built of black stone and lit with a hundred smoking torches. The sky was a fiery red, and from far away came the steady moaning of those in the deepest pits of Hell.

  My demon and I circled each other. Her tongue lolled from between her jagged teeth. She clicked her talons together, taunting me. When I lunged, she dodged me. She lashed with her tail, tripping me, and I landed painfully on my butt. I got to my feet, and we circled again.

  I searched her, looking for weaknesses. Her arms were corded with muscle, and her legs were long and powerful. She crouched then leapt at me, claws bared. I dove to the side, getting a face full of sawdust, and rolled onto my back. As I
scrambled to my feet, her tail swiped me again, driving me to my knees.

  A distant part of me knew this wasn’t really happening. I was in my bedroom, sitting on my bed with my arms around Tommy, but the arena seemed so real that I could smell the sawdust under my feet and feel the heat from the blazing torches.

  Sweat ran down my forehead, stinging my eyes. I had hoped my demon would be too exhausted from all our temptations to fight hard, but she was tougher than I’d given her credit for.

  She charged, mashing me against the black stone wall and driving the breath from my body. Her hands clamped around my neck. Gasping, I caught a handful of her long, black hair and yanked with all my strength. When her grip loosened, I slipped to the ground and scrambled away.

  Unfortunately, Tommy also felt the strain of our battle. As I wrestled the demon, he cried out and struggled in my arms. I hung on tighter, refusing to give up. Then again, neither did my demon. She came after me, but I dodged and grabbed her tail. She thrashed hard, breaking my grip.

  My mental muscles were tiring. I couldn’t hold on forever. Sooner or later, I’d have to give up, and when I did, my succubus would latch onto Tommy even harder. My muscles ached with tension. I panted, and blood pounded in my ears. I chased her down again, diving low to grab one of her taloned feet. She kicked hard, knocking me backwards. Then she pounced, landing on my chest. My ribs groaned.

  Suddenly, something shifted. In my mental arena, someone now fought alongside me. Seeing him, the demon cringed and shrieked in terror. The stranger lifted his hand in an unhurried gesture. Intense, white light exploded within the arena, and inside my skull. My demon screamed, horrified, and released her grip. The image of the arena blipped out of my mind as my head echoed with radiance and noise, and I fell away from Tommy.

  “Lilith? Lil! Are you okay?”

  I lay on the floor. Tommy stood over me. “Your nose is bleeding,” he said.

  I wiped my upper lip. Sure enough, it was smeared with blood. But there was only a little, and the trickle had already stopped.

  He held out his hand to help me up. Woozy, I sat on the bed. “What happened?” I asked.