3 Straight by the Rules Read online

  “You tried to buy our freedom?” William asked, stunned.

  “That’s right,” I said. “I’m not half the demon bitch you seem to think I am.” I stormed down the hallway.

  He chased after me. “Lilith! Lil, wait!”

  I ignored him and continued on. Lucky for William, he didn’t follow me. If he had, I might have swung the heavy grail at his head.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Utterly defeated, I dragged myself through the otherworld doorway leading to my basement and sagged against the wall. It was tempting to stay down there all day in order to avoid Jas and Tommy and William and everyone else. Despite the cobwebs and the bare, cement walls, the basement wasn’t so bad, really. It was cool and dim and the dryer made a comforting, steady hum. If I brought down a cot and a reading lamp, it would actually be quite cozy. Maybe I should just move in permanently…

  The sound of sniffling brought me up short. As my eyes adjusted to the gloom, I noticed a figure next to the washing machine. Corrine. Her face was buried in her hands, so thankfully she hadn’t seen me walk in from the otherworld.

  Despite the fact she’d turned into a crazed home-party representative, my downstairs neighbor wasn’t a terrible person. In fact, before the Naughty Nancy nightmare, I’d enjoyed her company quite a bit.

  “Corrine? You okay?”

  I spoke softly, so as not to startle her, but her head jerked up. “Lilith? I didn’t hear you come downstairs.” She wiped her face and stood straighter. “I’ve got one more load for the dryer, then it’s all yours.”

  Her plastic smile didn’t fool me. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  She shook her head. “Nothing. I’m fine.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  Her smile cracked in half. “No, I’m not!” she wailed. “You were so right about the whole Naughty Nancy thing! Not only can’t I book a single party, my friends and family refuse to talk to me. My own mother won’t take my calls!”

  “That’s because you’ve been stalking us like a piranha in a goldfish pond!”

  “What if I promised to tone down my technique? Would you host a party then?”

  Remembering how quickly the Hot Gelpackets and costume had ignited, I said, “I can’t sell that garbage! Even you have to admit the products are terrible.”

  With a sigh, she pulled a frayed scrap of black fabric from her laundry basket. “This used to be the bottom to a Naughty Nightie. And look…” She held out her arms. A red rash dotted her skin. “I tried the I’m so Sexy bath oil yesterday.” Her lower lip quivered. “You’re right; it’s all junk! But I spent seven hundred dollars on my sales starter kit, and I need to make enough money to pay it off.”

  Seven hundred dollars? No wonder she’d been so aggressive!

  Corrine put her laundry into the dryer. “When I was at my little sister’s bridal shower, I couldn’t stop thinking about how she would be getting married while I couldn’t even find a date for the wedding. I guess I went nuts.” She threw the ruined panties into the trash. “I need a man.”

  “You’ll find one,” I said.

  “Everyone says that! But when is it going to happen?” A tear dribbled down her cheek. “Sometimes at the hospital, I see patients who are always by themselves. They’re alone when they get the news that they have cancer. Then they go through chemo or radiation alone. Some even die alone! I’m terrified I’ll end up like that.”

  I touched her hand. “You do have a friend, you know.”

  She smiled through her tears. “Thanks, Lil. But I want a man, too, you know? A life-long partner.”

  “I get it. But you’re better off waiting for Mr. Right than chasing down Mr. Almost-Right. Especially if he ends up being a cheating bastard.” I looked at my hands, noting the empty ring finger. “Take it from someone who’s been there.”

  “I guess that’s true.” Her smile grew sunnier. “Thanks. And thanks for putting up with my insanity.”

  We walked upstairs together. When we reached the first floor, Corrine said, “You are so lucky, you know that? Your life is so full of people who love you. If I had that, I wouldn’t need a man to make me happy.”

  Since Jas and Tommy weren’t speaking to me, and William thought I was a demon slut, I wanted to argue that my relationships were far from perfect. But at that moment, Kate and Ariel walked in through the front door. My niece immediately began telling me about her sleepover and showing off the manicure Kate had given her. Then my phone chimed with a text from Grace who said I saw the Eyeful Tower today and I miss you so much. So I had to agree with Corrine. I was really lucky.

  With Ariel back in the apartment and both of my in-house babysitters not speaking to me, I was stuck at home. Not that I minded. Spending the afternoon making cookies with my niece certainly beat tempting clients. On the other hand, that hellish to-do list of mine wasn’t going away on its own. I’d have to work doubly hard after Ariel went to bed. And then I’d need to complete each temptation as quickly as possible so I didn’t leave her alone for too long.

  Ariel looked up from the heart-shaped, sugar cookie she’d been frosting. “Someone’s pensive today.”

  I gave a startled laugh. “Is that your new word?”

  “Yup. It was on Kate’s Word of the Day calendar. It means, ‘involved in serious thought.’”

  “Very good! And you’re right, I have been thinking a lot today.”

  She spread more icing. She’d insisted on red since she wanted the hearts to look bloody. “Is it because of, you know, what you do?”

  I nodded. “That job gives me a lot to think about.”

  “There’s a magic door in your bedroom, too, isn’t there?” she asked. “Like the wardrobe in the book.”

  I stopped rolling out dough. Since she really could see the door, there was no use lying. “Yes, but don’t try to walk through it!” I warned her. “It won’t take you to Narnia.”

  She twisted her lips, disappointed. “Where does it go?”

  I started to say Hell, but instead said, “The White Witch’s castle.”

  Her eyes popped wide. “Really?”

  “Yes.” It took great effort to keep my voice steady. “It’s a terrible, scary place, Ari. Somewhere I hate. I do not want you or anyone else coming near it.”

  Ariel paled. “Is that were the cat-dragon came from?” She had not only seen the berserker demon who’d attacked me, she’d shot at it with my dad’s gun. When I nodded, she asked, “Is it safe to have that door in the apartment?”

  “If you stay away from it.”

  She went back to frosting cookies. “I’m definitely staying away from it. And, don’t worry, I’ll keep Tea and Grace out of there, too.”

  I patted her shoulder. “Good girl.”

  She was quiet for a long time, but then she asked, “Do you see the White Witch when you go through that door?”

  “Unfortunately, yes.”

  Ariel regarded me from under her black bangs. “Is she scary?”

  “Extremely scary.”

  She licked icing from her finger. “Tommy says the White Witch is terrible, but she has a secret.”

  “What’s that?” I asked, genuinely curious.

  “She always loses to Aslan. Every time.”

  I considered the bit of the cross Helen kept in her office. It was proof she’d won at least one round in the supernatural struggle.

  Ariel continued. “You know what I think? I think Aslan pretends to let her win once in a while, but really, he always comes out on top.”

  I gaped at my niece. Back when I’d been her age, I’d been busy planning sleepovers and writing in my diary about cute boys I liked, not contemplating religious philosophy. “You amaze me,” I said.

  She shrugged and picked up another cookie.

  From down the hallway came an otherworld shimmer. Luckily, it was so slight that Ariel didn’t notice. I quickly wiped my hands then went down to my bedroom where Delilah waited.

  “What now?” I asked wearily.
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  “You should be happier than that to see me.” She handed me a pile of papers that was thinner than the one from the day before. “I grouped all of the names the best way I can. There’s still a few solo temptations since I couldn’t get the entire wait staff at one time, but the rest of them are at least paired together.”

  “That is good news. Thanks.” I glanced at the pages. Each of the assignments had a date and a time, but every set of instructions was exactly the same. “Get the client to do something they don’t want to,” I read out loud. “That’s pretty open-ended.”

  Delilah nodded. “Miss Spry said she enjoyed your creativity so much last night that she wanted you to come up with your own temptations. ‘Let her entertain me,’ were her exact words.”

  My temper flared. I’d been right the night before: Helen loved her ringside seat at my blood sports.

  “There’s more.” Delilah sucked in her cheeks and shifted her weight uncomfortably. “The old lady said you either get back to work immediately, or…” Like a magician conjuring a rabbit from a hat, she pulled a white rose and a pair of garden shears from behind her back and clipped the bloom from the stem.

  I shuddered, wondering which of my loved ones was represented by that flower. “Tell her I’ll do it.”

  “I’m sorry, Lilith. I really am,” Delilah said as she stepped back into the otherworld.

  Ariel leapt onto my bed, her wide eyes staring at the doorway. “Were you talking to someone from that bad place?”

  “She’s from the bad place, but she’s a good person,” I assured her.

  I had work to do, but I also had an eleven-year-old to consider. I bit my lip, thinking. I couldn’t call Kate back again, and Jas and Tommy were both out of the picture. I glanced at the clock. It would take my Dad and Evelyn at least an hour or longer to get to my apartment during rush hour.

  “You’re pensive again,” Ariel observed.

  “I know. Look, I need you to do me a very big favor. I want you to stay with Corrine from downstairs. For just an hour!” I said as Ariel started to complain. “I have some errands to run.” Hopefully, if I removed a few names from my to-do list, Helen would simmer down.

  I called Corrine. “Can you watch Ari for about an hour? I have to run out.”

  “Send her down. She can help me sort flyers.”

  “Uh, those aren’t for your Naughty Nancy products, are they?”

  “Don’t worry. These are child appropriate.”

  Hoping I could trust her, I hung up the phone. “Corrine says go on down.”

  Ariel groaned, but she put her flip flops on and trudged down the stairs.

  I immediately went to work. I convinced a Little League coach to bench a freckle-faced boy so his own son could play in the game instead. I encouraged a woman to stand up her dinner date. I urged one of the waiters to pour his used motor oil down the storm sewer. I persuaded a man to steal his mother’s silver tea service so he could sell it on E-bay.

  One hour and four temptations later, I returned to Corrine’s apartment to rescue Ariel. To my surprise, she was reluctant to leave. “Corrine’s paying me to put inserts into the catalogs for her! I get ten cents for every one I do, and so far, I’m up to five dollars.”

  I worried what Ari had seen while stuffing those catalogs. “That was very nice of you. I think.”

  “She’s doing me the favor,” Corrine said. “You can’t beat the price of child labor.” She frowned a little. “Too bad it’s illegal in this country.”

  “I’m going to use the money I’m making to order something in here,” Ariel said happily. She pointed to an insert.

  Horrified, I picked one up, wondering what child-inappropriate thing had caught my niece’s eye. To my relief, Corrine hadn’t been lying. The inserts didn’t feature the typical Naughty Nancy selection of body gels and sex games. Instead, on the cover was a picture of a plush teddy bear holding a heart-shaped pillow, and the caption: “NEW: Naughty Nancy’s Sweetheart Collection.”

  Curious in spite of myself, I quickly paged through the catalog. There were a few pretty pieces of jewelry; scented candles; and a spa set with scrubs, lotions, and bath salts (‘to pamper the lady in your life’). Although most the stuff in the new collection was still tacky, it at least gave a nod to real romance.

  “There’s a stuffed lion on page eight,” Ariel said. “Can I get it?”

  Sure enough, page eight featured a picture of a lion cub holding a heart-shaped pillow that said, ‘I love you’. “Maybe,” I told her and shut the catalog. I held out my hand. “But now we need to go.”

  Corrine paid Ariel. “Come back any time. I’ve got plenty of other jobs for you.”

  I hustled Ari out of the door before my downstairs neighbor tried to recruit my niece into becoming a sales rep.

  As Ariel and I came up the stairs, we found Tommy in the hallway, his fist raised as he readied to knock on our door.

  “Tommy!” Ariel, overjoyed, flew to hug him.

  “I was hoping I could steal Ari for a few hours,” he said. “I want to take her on a date. Dinner and a movie?”

  Ariel jumped up and clapped her hands. “Yes!!”

  I wasn’t so sure. When I unlocked the door to the flat, I said, “Ariel, go take a shower, okay?” She still hadn’t cleaned up after that morning’s basketball camp. “Four hours in a hot gym has not done wonders for you.”

  She sniffed her armpit and made a face. “Good point.” She dashed down the hallway.

  “So you’re speaking to me now?” I asked Tommy tartly.

  He dropped his eyes. “You’re right; I acted like a jerk this morning. I was pissed at myself more than at you.”

  His humble expression immediately melted me. “It’s okay.” If anyone had a right to be cranky, it was he. “Are you feeling better?”

  He shrugged. “Not really. I’m hoping a night out with Ariel will improve my mood.”

  “How did you get here?” I asked. “I thought the doctor told you not to drive until the pain was gone.”

  “Neil let me borrow his car tonight. I guess he figured it was a chance for me to get out of Sam’s hair.” Tommy put his hands to his stomach as if gauging his pain. “It was weird to drive after all this time, but it felt pretty good. Normal, you know?” He took a seat on the couch, bracing his hand against the armrest as he lowered himself. “Jas isn’t here, is she?”

  So that was the real reason for his visit. I raised my eyebrows. “What do you think?”

  His shoulders sagged. “I guess not.”

  From down the hallway, my niece’s cheerful singing rose above the white noise of the shower. Her sweet, childish voice turned the heavy metal song into a hymn. I worried that as depressed as he was, Tommy would try to talk to Ariel about Jasmine or his mother or even the two of us. “You can take Ariel out, but don’t lay anything heavy on her, got it?” I said. “She’s only eleven.”

  “I’d never do that! Adult problems are for adults. We’ll stick to discussing The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.”

  No doubt about it, someday, this man would make an excellent father. I smiled. “Then, okay. She’s yours. And if I’m away when you get back, would you mind staying with Ari until I get home?”

  “Do you have a job tonight?” he asked lightly.

  I sighed. “I wish it was only one.”

  “I sometimes forget how hard working for the Devil must be on you,” he said. “How do you manage to hold up?”

  “Having a supportive friend helps,” I said.

  He managed a smile. “Of course I’ll watch Ari.”

  When my niece finished showering and dressing, she ran into the living room and pulled Tommy off the couch. “Let’s go!” Her tangled hair was still dripping wet, but she was so eager that I didn’t make her dry it.

  If I could bottle that kind of love and sell it off, Hell would never stand a chance.

  Chapter Seventeen

  After Tommy and Ariel left, dull pain throbbed between my temples,
and my stomach pitched. I hadn’t had a migraine since college, but my huge workload was catching up to me. Even my inner demon was limp with exhaustion and begging for a break. I wanted to draw the shades in my room and lay down, but my terrible list beckoned.

  Harmony was so lucky, I mused bitterly. Her jobs left her invigorated while mine left me feeling sick and dirty. I longed to be the good guy for once. I wondered if doing an act of charity, like serving meals to the homeless or donating a kidney, would negate some of my crimes.

  I sighed. Who was I kidding? My fantasies of being a hero would have to wait. At least until that list was finished. If I hurried, I could cross off another six names before Ari and Tommy came home.

  Tommy. The name rang my heart like a bell. Of all people on Earth, he deserved a break. I glanced at my watch. Maybe I did have time for one, small act of charity before continuing on with my list.

  Doris struggled to make her way across a deadfall of trash as she crossed from her hidey hole in the living room to another part of the house. When she slipped and nearly fell, my heart skipped a beat. Luckily, she caught herself in time and remained upright.

  I’d called Doris a couple of times to see if I could persuade her to move out of the house, but she hadn’t picked up. My guess was she couldn’t answer the phone because she’d lost it somewhere in all the garbage. And I couldn’t get into the house on my own without being torn apart by the effects of the nexus. It was a dicey situation.

  Doris shuffled back into the living room. Once again, she lost her balance. When she put her hand out to steady herself, she dislodged a tall stack of magazines which slid over with a sudden whoosh. My stomach clenched. It was like watching a coal miner being buried in a cave-in. I had to get her to safety!

  I decided that my only option was to drag her into the corridor with me, and then relocate her to my apartment. Once I got her there, I could use my demon on her. Perhaps it wasn’t the best plan, but at least it would get her out of that disaster area.